This is my future.

I’ve been fortunate to not have suffered any serious bone breaks in my life, but at the same time, there’s something reassuring and, dare I say, nice, in knowing exactly what you’re dealing with. It isn’t to say that I haven’t ever gotten hurt. My knees unexpectedly lock up, shoulders go weak at random and knives jab into my kidneys without warning. The result of school athletics and an infatuation with motorcycles, I’m sure that most two-wheeled fanatics can relate to a lifetime of accumulated tweaks and nagging boo-boos. I took another yet-to-be-diagnosed injury last week while out filming with the guys from On the Trail TV. You’ll see some of our exploits with them in a magazine feature this coming issue.

It wasn’t anything spectacular, just an ill-timed dab of the foot during a failed hillclimb attempt on the FMF Factory Suzuki RM-Z450. I’ll have to wait and see what the doctors say in the coming weeks, but honestly, I don’t expect much from them. Diagnostics have proven to be the least these medical experts seem capable of in my personal medical history, though they’re damn efficient at collecting insurance money and copays for their trouble. If the bone isn’t sticking out far enough to poke them in the eye, these doctors are as useful as tits on a bull. I guess it’s all about finding the right one. I’ve got a few recommendations to try out, so we’ll give them a shot.

The worst part isn’t the pain and swelling, that stuff goes away fairly quickly, but rather not knowing what’s jacked up, why and how long it will take to heal. It makes you feel like a helpless, whiny little wimp – a hypochondriac complaining about “mystery” injuries. To add insult to injury, I have to sit and watch someone else attend the new Yamaha press launch for the 2010 YFZ450X ATV and especially the 2010 YZ450F dirt bike. The injustice of it all…