Probably the highlight of the Memorable Motorcycle Man's year was his acquisition of the Walmsley G.50, a hand-built classic-styled British Grand Prix bike based on the Matchless G.50. Go, Frank, Go.
(A Year in the Life of a Recidivist Biker)
January: The Manchester Bike Show - Appear on a Biking Quiz Show as team captain. Fail miserably on style, music and clothes questions (I thought that Hip Hop music is what a bunny rabbit played on her iPod as she went round your garden eating the vegetables) but get a bonus point for knowing the name, and capacity, of the four-cylinder Russian Grand Prix machine of the late 1960s. Okay, I know you want to know - it was the 350cc Voskhod.
February: Sunday afternoon on my mini-trials course riding our 1974 Honda TL250. The ground is frozen hard and wind howls across fields cutting into my face and slicing through my thin gloves. Despite the conditions, the old Honda starts in three kicks and I spend a couple of brilliant hours simply messing about for no other reason than the sheer pleasure of riding a bike. No photos, no story to write, no deals to be done or potential sponsors to be courted. Just a battered old bike, a gallon of fuel - and life doesn't get any better than this.
March: Just when you think you have seen, and done, everything I receive a 'phone call from the master Suzuki tuner Rob Greenhill. This is remarkable for a number of reasons. First, Rob has 'phoned me: an unheard of act of kindness, efficiency and generosity. Second, our Seeley Suzuki is ready on time and can be collected. This breaks all the rules of the classic motorcycle race tuner. Rob has done what he promised to do, on time and without me threatening to visit his workshop, tie him to his lathe and then burn the place down - with him in it. Total shock!
April: Sneak off work (we work for ourselves so it does help!) mid-week for an afternoon at the Three Sisters Circuit, near Manchester. The track is tight, bumpy, narrow and damp - just about the last place one would want to voluntarily ride a highly strung 500cc twin-cylinder, two-stroke race bike. But the early spring sun is breaking through the cloud and the track staff are all smiles. Petrol on, choke in, push hard, the motor turns over twice and then chimes in on two cylinders. Rob, you are brilliant and I forgive you for every non-returned phone call and failed delivery date.
All the planning in the world won't keep it from raining in England. Ron and Vince Cheeseman weren't detered by inclement weather and mush on despite the conditions.
The bike is flying, the tires scrub in beautifully - and I'm 22 years old again.
May 13: The Thundersprint. Our big day of the year. This is the event we own and the one which puts food in the fridge and prevents the bank from repossessing our house. We've got a year's work invested in this one day!
06.00 - Northwich Town Center. The Weather Center has got the forecast completely wrong. Where are the storms, the gale force winds and what value the flood warnings? Ha! Supercomputers suck! A weak sun is breaking through the thin clouds for a lovely spring day.
12.00: Someone has turned out the lights out in Northwich. Does such a thing as a jet black, lump-of-coal-at-midnight-in-midwinter cloud really exist in nature? Yes it does, and it's here - hovering over Northwich!
14.00: The film set from "Amazon Rainforest 3 - The Great Flood." Come on God, a joke's a joke but raindrops this size only exist in cartoon films.
18.00: Moved to tears as rider after rider sloshes through the puddles to thank us for a wonderful day. How blessed are we to have customers like this?
June Episode 1: Creg Ny Baa corner on the TT course. The race is delayed. Spend two hours talking about bikes we have known, loved, hated, crashed, desired with other bike fans and watch (with unallayed awe) as Irish race fans consume alcohol in elephant-killing quantities - yet remain stone cold sober and wonderfully amiable.
John McGuinness wins the first TT of the year with a breathtaking performance. John makes the job look easy. As a very ordinary racer, I know it isn't.
Another highlight for Melling in '07 was catching the centenary running of the Isle of Man TT. Here, Motorcycle USA-sponsored Jimmy Moore goes motocross on Ballaugh Bridge during the Senior TT.
Actually manage to find MCUSA's Editorial Director, Ken Hutchison, in the TT paddock. The magnitude of this feat can be overrated. Speaking to Ken in real life is something equivalent to having a personal chat with the Hyper Intelligent, Pan Galactic Super Being who has just landed his space ship in your back yard. Osama Bin Laden is far easier to find and an audience with, the Pope a mere children's party trick compared with tracking down the master of evasion Mr. H. But I
have spoken with Ken and retire that night to the sleep of the truly blessed.
Three Weeks Later - but still in June: 22.30: Meet 15-times World Champion for a secret rendezvous in a park at the St. Cergue Hillclimb in Switzlerand. Yes, the world's greatest-ever bike racer just might consider coming to the Thundersprint. How cool would that be? Ago racing in a parking lot in Northwich!
July Episode 1: Bikers Classics. Spa. Yes, I might just, possibly, conceivably, find the time to ride with you, declares Giacomo.
July Episode 2: Bikers Classics. Spa. Ago comes across to our table at dinner and shares a bottle of wine. He declares the Thundersprint to be a really interesting event - clearly the superstar has had his research team in flat out action - and one in which he would like ride. We smile, agree to a contract, shake hands and Ago leaves. Carol fans me with the menu. Ago at our event. What's next? Rossi ringing us for a ride?
August: Cheating never pays. In an attempt to jump the start at La Baneza, in deepest, deepest Spain, I'm still going backwards when the starter lets the race go. Gosh! Dear me! Bless My Soul! And other expletives. I am somewhat discomfited to say the least - but I did it officer. Put the plastic 'cuffs on me and I'll come quietly.
The thought of having 15-times World Champion Giacomo Agostini attend Melling's brainchild, Thundersprint, definitely ranked near the top of his most memorable moments of '07.
Our new Matchless G.50 flies. We have a first class post-race meal with Chris Spicer, our La Baneza fixer, and our Spanish classic racing mates. Three bottles of wine later, the messed up start is not such a big deal.
September: The G.50 is really something special. Carol says that she feels like Keira Knightly surrounded by dozens of blokes with their tongues hanging out. Not that I'm surprised: she's
always surrounded by crowds of male admirers when she warms up the G.50!
I win at Anglesey on the G.50. It's not a spectacular win - other, faster, riders crash and/or break down, but I'm first under the checkered linen. The smile doesn't go away for a week!
October: It's a lovely Autumn day and so I skive off work and go for a ride round the edge of Wales. Down through Snowdonia and back along the Welsh Marches, crossing back and forth just for the sheer pleasure of riding. Nearly 400 miles. Very little traffic, stunning scenery and a tummy-stretching pie, chips and tea in Llandovery. If only we could rid ourselves of our political masters, Britain would be heaven on earth.
November: The International Bike Show in Birmingham. Best British bike show for years. So how many toys should I take home? Three Ducatis, the new Honda Transalp, a Triumph Rocket 3, must have a Buell too and an R1 - and a divorce!
As 2007 draws to a close, Motorcycle USA would like to thank all of its readers for helping make us the site to visit on the Web for the latest bike tests, product reviews and motorcycle-related news. Climb On! and let's see what 2008 has in store. We hope everybody has a Happy (and safe) New Year!
Met a bloke in Chester I knew from school. He has led a life of blameless purity. Golf Club Captain, sensible diet, chairman of his estate's re-cycling committee. Now, he's taking early retirement and is looking forward to a Caribbean cruise - "So I can see the world and have some real excitement!"
Make the huge mistake of thinking about how much we (I) have spent on racing, riding gear, chasing up and down Europe towing a race trailer, consumption of British Accident and Emergency services - and smile.
It seems to me that there are three important questions which are pressing heavily on me at the moment. One: When will my new Kawasaki Versys arrive? Two: Can Rob get a few more hp out of the Suz? Three: Will the new racing Avon cure the front end chatter? All the rest of life can go in a large skip entitled: "Pending."
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