As both regular readers of STM will know - and that’s a big thank you to Meg my Collie dog and “Milwaukee Mike,” the Harley enthusiast who brings a surge of pride to all American hearts - earlier in the year I made some predictions regarding the consequences of changing MotoGP regulations. The primary modification to the rules was
As predicted, many MotoGP riders are beginning to use up their six allotted engines way too soon in the season.
Dorna’s insistence that riders would have only six engines to last the whole season.
The idea was that having just six engines would reduce the costs of participation in MotoGP and reflected, if nothing else, the complete other-worldly separation Dorna has from racing. In fact, in 42 years of being involved at every level with motorcycle sports, this was the single most stupid regulation I have ever come across - and that’s some claim to fame.
As Meg and Mike will confirm, in the March edition of STM I predicted precisely what is happening now. After using their allowance of six engines a rider has to start from the pit lane, 10 seconds after the race commences. Ah yes, thought Dorna’s Mr. Ezpeleta, that will bring some discipline to those who dare defy us! All that was needed to complete the package was a Marine Corps Drill Sergeant screaming abuse at the naughty competitor whilst he waited to follow the pack. Seeing this, the rest of the paddock would quake in fear.
Sadly, things have not quite worked out according to plan. One miscreant rider having his ass whipped would have been rather good fun. However, there are now three problems - and yes, I predicted these too. First, the actual line-up
Repsol Honda is one of the few teams which seem to be safe under these new regulations, with Rizla Suzuki, Pramac Ducati and even Jorge Lorenzo struggling to meet the new rules.
for a MotoGP race is grimly sparse. Add a few injuries to the 17 riders who nominally make up the grid and MotoGP is in the position of looking for anyone who will simply make up the numbers. In fact, as you read this I am expecting a phone call from Dorna any time soon because they have exhausted everyone else who knows on which side of the engine the gear lever is located.
Rumor has it that MCUSA’s Cruiser Editor, Bryan Harley, has already been approached but turned down the ride because the FIM wouldn’t approve his Bell World War II replica German helmet for racing.
The next issue is the crashes. This is a very complex and sophisticated problem and one which could not have been foreseen by Dorna. Incredibly, MotoGP riders crash. Gosh, this was a surprise to everyone concerned. And the next shock was that when the riders crash their motors get damaged. The waves of disbelief must have echoed around the Dorna Corporate Hospitality Center like a tornado.
So this brings us up to date. Suzuki is having a totally and utterly rubbish season, and if I were sitting in their Hammatsu board room I would be going crazy. No results; no TV coverage - but an immense bill. How smart is this?
If things are bad now, they are about to get worse as Suzuki is fast running out of engines. Now the dreadful results are about to become an awful lot worse because after Brno, Loris Capirossi had two engines left for the rest of the season and Alvaro Bautista one. The Rizla babes were very soon going to be starting from the pit lane.
Along with the new engine rules, Dorna is already violating its own requirments which state that a minimum of 18 starters are needed in each race.
Not that they would be alone. The word on the paddock street was the Pramac Ducatis would be joining them along with Lorenzo. Yes, that’s Lorenzo. The one leading the World Championship. The one who, rumors have it, is going through Yamaha engines like paper tissues during an outbreak of flu.
Only the factory Repsol Hondas, Ducatis and Rossi - whose bike effectively had an early summer break in the hands of Japanese test rider Wataru Yoshikawa - seem to be safe.
Originally, I predicted that this state of affairs would occur right towards the end of the season. We’re only on Round 11 out of 18 and the panic is setting in at Dorna, along with the few remaining manufacturers left in MotoGP - and with justification.
Dorna are already in breach of their contract with the FIM because they are supposed to have a minimum of 18 starters and, even if both Bryan and I ride, they will never reach that number. Imagine the situation if they turned around to Suzuki and said: “Okay folks, get your bikes in the pit lane - ‘cuz that’s where you’re starting!” Imagine the delight as Suzuki pulled the plug on what has already been a dreadful season and went home...
So, the Motorcycle Sports Manufacturers Association (who represent the manufacturers racing in MotoGP) and Dorna, agreed that Suzuki could have another three engines - and no doubt an additional ten too if they need them. MSMA secretary Takanao Tsubouchi said: “We are afraid that Suzuki might drop out like Kawasaki. We dearly want to keep them in MotoGP.”
I can’t imagine why. Surely, ten starters in a World Championship race will be fine.
MotoGP riders dressing up like astronauts? No, that would never happen!
In fact, Dorna should have been strong and kept to the original plan of six engines per-rider because the best races of the season would have resulted. Let’s say that the two Suzukis, both Pramac Ducatis and Jorge, the “Boy Wonder,” were all starting together from the pit lane. What sort of spectacle would that have made! Jorge blasts down the pit lane with half-a-mile of Yamaha computer cable, a tire warmer and a shrieking Umbrella Girl wrapped round the front of his Yamaha. Now we are talking about serious levels of entertainment.
Personally, I would have gone even further. In the Golden Age of GP racing, all the starts were made with dead engines. Dorna should have made all five riders push start their bikes just like in the days of Hailwood, Agostini, Redman and the other immortals.
Come to think of it, I’ve got an even better idea. All the riders should have their visors covered in black duct tape and then they should first be made to find their bikes, check it is actually their machine by touch and answer three questions about the political system of the country in which they are racing – before they are allowed to start.
Let’s forget about the racing altogether and just turn MotoGP into a comedy game show and have clowns run across the track with tickling sticks and balloons or even have race winners dress up in silly costumes and pretend to be astronauts - but no, that last idea would be just too stupid for words.
I’m off to Silverstone on Sunday to watch a rather strange form of entertainment: it’s called motorcycle racing.
